The Air Force

It's been a while since I last wrote here, my life now is a little bit different! No more sleeping until noon, no more spending hours in front of the computers, no more staying awake until six o´clock in the morning... definitely different! I've survived the recruit, it was all about psychological strength, more than physical. It was nice to realize that I'm stronger than I thought, that I'm capable of overcoming my limits, of surviving through really tough times. I am now aware of what I can or can't do, I am more confident in my skills. Those are the good things that being surrounded by this environment can do to you.

I am now studying, less pressure, less physical intensity... that means the storm is coming! Soon I'll begin to learn what it takes to join the Air Force Police, I'm certain that pain is waiting on the corner. When I began I thought I wouldn´t want to join this course, but there is something about the Air Force Police "aura"... it gets to you! They show no fear, strength, whenever I say that I'm joining this group people say that I'm crazy, I'm going to suffer a lot. I must confess I actually like it, I like people looking up to me, who doesn´t?

The future is now, I am learning to appreciate my journey and I think that with a little bit of luck things will turn out perfectly.

Always with you even though I never write...

Zhews

Victory- Finally!

I got the call yesterday, next Monday I'll be starting my new adventure in the Air Force! I'm going to be "P.A." (Polícia Aérea), I would prefer something related to human resources but the important thing is that I know what I'm going to do next month, next year, five years from now... that is amazing nowadays in my sad country! I'm happy, even though there is some sadness in me since I'm not going to see my girlfriend, family and friends that often, it was to be expected, there are no "win-win" situations in life nowadays. I hope this experience will be even more than what I expect, I need something like this in my life, I need to breathe, work on my future, make sure that my life will be more than just waiting for the final breath! Thank you my friends, for helping me in everything through this rough times and thank you Bruna, for being supportive with this hard decision that will put us to the test.

A new tomorrow begins...

Victory...maybe!

Finally I've done all I can to join the Air Force. The medic exam went well and after the physical exams I entered the enormous list of people that are waiting for a job in the air force. I enjoyed the physical exams. I did the "portico", five meters from the ground, but I had no problems. The tunnel was very easy too. I only felt scared when it came to jump a wall 0,90 m high, but it went well. After the push ups and the abdominals that were very easy because I've been working out in a gym for eight years, I had to run. It isn't that easy! I never run and I felt really tired, I did the time they required but it wasn't easy, it's something I have to work on in case I make it to the recruit.
Just wanted to let you know this, I don't know if I'll make it because there aren't many openings for what I want, but at least I did all I can! Soon we'll know...
Hug;
Zhews

Is it really that hard to be happy?

What is living all about? You spend most of your life thinking that your existence is all about looking for love; later on you think that it is all about looking for money... until one day you really think and you realize that even if you have both things you still manage to screw your life up to a point when you have to look for something else to feel sad! You are never happy, no matter how much you achieve! Why do we have this need to never really feel complete? I try to do that, but when nobody else does that it's like they are trying hard to make sure that it won´t happen... nobody wants to just feel happy, they want to live a miserable life so they can tell everyone how hard their life was and how they had to fight; what they don't see is that they were really fighting against themselves all the time! Is it because everyone thinks they they should be as the others? Unhappy, with no confidence in yourself, always screaming to the wind that you are the one with no luck, with all the problems? Have you ever considered taking the time to think about the good things that happen? To take the time to think about the smiles you had and you can have again if you bother to stop thinking that all the bad things in the world are out to get you? How is it possible that some people have really no luck in life and still manage to wear a smile? Isn't it spitting on their face when you are crying about not having money to buy that CD, not being able to visit another country, not being able to go to the cinema because you have other obligations or because someone didn't say "Hi" to you or your friend wasn't in the mood to listen to what you had to say? I think it is! I'm fed up with feeling bad energy around me! You have to suffer not only with your own problems but also with the problems that everyone else is so eager to make sure everyone sees, or even with the problems they invent! It's fashionable to say that you're not happy, something is wrong! Even if it is the canteen food, even if it really wasn't that bad but what would someone think if you said something like "I like the canteen food!", "I like living!", "I like to feel happy!", "I like myself!". Nowadays people are not ready to hear such things, they criticize people who say that! Being with a sad face and complaining about life is a question of "status", if you don't do it you're "out"! Take the time to breathe, to enjoy life, to think about the good things that happen to you and free the world of the bad energy that is everywhere we go! We deserve more than a world that only thinks about what we didn't get, what we didn't find, what we couldn't do! Don't you agree?

Zhews

The final step

Yes, my future might be clearer on the 3rd of June. I've done the eye cirurgy, I can see clearly now (the rain is gone:), and now I'm going to perform the final tests to join the air force. If everything goes as expected, I will be working there in a month.

I don't have much time, just wanted to let you know this, I haven't been writing that much in here!

Regards;

Zhews

One step closer...

It is hard to figure out whether you should live for the present or for the future! I mean, one day everyone is telling you that you should seize the moment, the other they are telling you to take it easy, you should think about the future! This may seem pointless, but consider your life:

If you choose work over love, you are considering the future; if you choose love over work, you are seizing the moment;

If you feel happy and scream in the middle of the street to show it, you are seizing the moment; if you choose to shut up, you are thinking about the future because someone might see you and think badly of you;

If you buy that thing you have always wanted, you are seizing the moment; if you don't buy it and save the money, you are thinking about the future!

As you see, sometimes one thing prevents the other from happening, so it is a difficult decision to make! Your heart puts pressure on you to enjoy life the best you can, society pressures you to think about the future and measure the consequences of all that you do. It is very hard to make a choice; I make a different choice in different situations. Sometimes it's all about the moment, other times it's all about the future. I confess most times it's about the future, it scares me that all this hard choices could be of no use to me! The future sometimes turns out to be so different, sometimes it doesn't even come... what will you think on those last few moments? I've lived a full life? I've been preparing to live a full life and never had the chance to do it? On the other hand, if future does come, what will you think? I didn't take the proper measures to have a peaceful future, now I'm paying for it? Finally I have the peace I've always wanted, thank God I made those difficult choices in the past? Nobody knows what will happen, so nobody knows what they will think. I will go on making the easier choices and hopping the hard ones were correct, what else can I do?

Should we content with being one step closer but not knowing if we'll ever get there, or should we take the final step towards everything we want not knowing if that means that in the future we could lose everything?

If you have a solution to this, please share it with me! I see no other way!

Hug;

Zhews

Jack Johnson

This is going to be the beginning of my English posts. That way I can go international:) To start I chose to share one of my new passions: Jack Johnson. It had been a while since I last fell in love with someone´s music like this. The guy is a surfer who decided to sing... his songs have attached such a good feeling, you can listen to them for hours and never get tired! Maybe the beauty of a life with the sea as his best friend and the sand as his home could only be translated into songs like these... If you never listened to his songs, please do! I promise you that you will not be disappointed! I have been depending on this guy to bring me summer, the beach and with it inner peace! I have always been in love with the beach and summer life (except from a very good friend of mine called Ricardo, I think almost everyone feels the same!); and if I really think about it, the summer is when I can truly be in touch with myself, when I can really grasp the world around me without the "noise" of normal life. And the summer, with the beach and the sand as my witnesses, brought me my love. I feel the need for that magic now, I can't wait for the summer to arrive!

Hug;

Zhews.